coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
