when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
