you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
