Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
