Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Randomize
