I want to stick my p in your. b.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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