she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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