Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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