Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
