Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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