So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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