So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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