Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
