last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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