Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
