I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
