porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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