they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
