This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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