I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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