I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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