Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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