i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
