Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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