Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
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