Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
