member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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