I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
