when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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