You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
