I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
