Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
