I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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