Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
