so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize