i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
