I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I fill condoms, not promises.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
