Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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