Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
