no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
