i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
