"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
