Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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