So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
