Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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