You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Damn victory sex feels great
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
