I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
