is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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