Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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