i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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